We are having a great day. Paul had a pancake with us for breakfast this morning. He doesn't usually eat breakfast with us and never eats pancakes, even though there is always one extra waiting for him. The girls gave him the birdhouses they painted and then set them outside. After church we had lunch together at a nice little sandwich shop and then went down town and wandered around with all the tourists for a while.
It is a great day as a parent/wife to celebrate with a man who is a great father to our daughters. But it is a not so exciting day as a daughter to a dad who, unfortunately, hasn't been a part of my life. It's harder now as a parent when I watch Paul. I get a first hand view of what I missed out on.
The last few days on the morning news they have been talking about great Father's. They interviewed people on the street and asked them to describe their dads. They said things like "caring, dependable, someone I could look up to and model my life after." I recognize and praise men like that, my husband and father-in-law being those kind of men. I also know that there is another reality that many people live in that is not the kind of stuff the morning news wants to feature. There are the dads that have never been part of their children's lives, ones that have left their children with more questions than answers. There are dad's who don't go to their daughter's weddings, hang up the phone if their son's call and even some who have ended their lives leaving their kids with hurt and doubt.
So, this post is also for the many people that do not have dads or who don't know their dads. It is also for those who have lost their fathers. I just want to say that it's ok to feel sad and it's ok to not know how to feel. It's ok if our story is not the same as on tv or if our dad didn't make the morning news. Life is messy.
All that said, I don't want to remain in that place of sadness. I don't like anger, though it tries to get a hold of me sometimes. I am going to go ahead and send a card to my dad that I don't know and expect nothing in return. I think Jesus can speak to me even on Father's day. I am called to give to those who have hurt me and love my enemies.
I'm thankful for all that leads me to God even if it is sadness. I know that God loves all Creation, and that the fatherless have a special place in His heart.
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2 comments:
Kristi, Hi. Your post makes me cry tonight. I have had a bad day. Long story. But I have felt sad today too and your post pushed me over the edge. :) That's an ok thing actually (even though it doesn't sound like it when I use the words "pushed me over the edge!". It is good to cry every now and then right?!? :) Good to see you back posting - I was getting tired of seeing your vegetables!
I love you,
Care
hey kristi, i am so thankful that God has provided you with a spiritual father in your father-in-law. i know it must be bitter sweet but i bet your heart also swells with joy for maddi and olivia when you see the father that paul is to them, and that they will never have to go with out as you did. i am sorry that this was a hard day for you, but i am glad that God used it for his good and glory. love ya!!
PS. oh yeah, maybe beauty and the beast would be a good sub for the little mermaid. belle is not selfish, she's smart, determined, and cares a lot for her father. jenna loves cinderella. i have to say, even though she is a little bit of a push over, she does have a lot of good qualities. she is kind, caring, and tries to look on the bright side in dreary circumstance. just an idea. thanks for what you wrote, i had been thinking jenna would like the little mermaid a lot because she loves fish and water, etc. but i never really thought about what you said. good point. i will hold out on the mermaid.
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