Random Thoughts

I don't want to go for a long time without posting again, but I am having trouble organizing my thoughts.

I'm in the middle of a book called "Soul Graffiti" by Mark Scandrette. It is challenging and at the same time is summing up how I've already been feeling for a while now. I can't do it justice here; but want to recommend it to anyone who would give it a shot for no other reason than because I said to.

We picked our first zuchinni from the garden. We found it about a week ago and brought the kids out to show it to them. The girls applauded me and all my gardening skills. It is weird how something as simple as gardening has been so eye opening to me about God's goodness, but it has. He really does satisfy our desires and provide for us with such skill and generosity.

Kind of along the same lines we put up a bird feeder about a month ago. My mom gave it to us for our anniversary. So, we've been enjoying all the birds coming and going. It is in plain view from our dining room table, so we've spent many meals watching or talking about the birds. So you might say that we've been obeying the command of Jesus when he says in Matthew 6:26 to "Look at the birds of the air." He is talking about God's provision and the fact that they don't sow or reap or store away and yet God feeds them. Then Jesus tells us that we can't add a single hour to his life by worrying.

I think I have a lot to learn about this, but I can feel that changes are taking place inside of me. I never knew I was a worrier, but I am seeing more and more that I am. Now that I see it and at the same time am watching birds and gardens grow, my faith in God is growing more. I am learning to trust and feel challenged to align myself more with my trust in God.

We will be enjoying a vacation next week in Northern Ca and specifically Lake Tahoe for a few days without the kids! I am so excited. We actually need to get out of the heat. It was like 102 here today. Wierd.

Garden Adventures

Our garden has been getting fun lately. It is growing and turning into a real garden.

About a week ago a man who tends the area looking for gophers warned me. He said that if the corn took off and grew well, that it might start disappearing. It wouldn’t be the gophers, though, it would be him! We talked a bit more about the garden, how lucky we’ve been that we haven’t seen gophers, and about our “fence”.

When we started the garden Paul put up a fence. I thought it was silly. It was mainly to keep out bunnies of which I had never seen any around here. He said last year he kind of remembered seeing one. So, to me it seemed like a lot of work for a “there might be bunnies.” The fence was up, but then when I expanded the garden for a few more plants we never put it up around the side that is closest to this big open field.

Well, the day after the pest control guy threatened to steal my corn I was out pulling weeds and came upon a stalk of corn that had been eaten down to a nub! I couldn’t believe it. I got Paul and we put the fence up.

Now we’ve actually seen the bunny, but so far he hasn’t gotten in the garden. It doesn’t look like it has even tried. It is sooo cute!

Now I did have to tell Paul I was happy that our corn was tasty enough for the bunny to eat and that if it’s good enough for the bunny it’s good enough for me. You may remember my blog about genetically engineered crops and how the critters won’t even get close to them. Paul said I was crazy, but I don’t care. Then again I am a little crazy, but not so crazy that I’m taking the fence down to let that rabbit eat all the corn.

If the bunny sticks around until harvest I promise I’ll throw a treat out for it.

Happy Father's Day

We are having a great day. Paul had a pancake with us for breakfast this morning. He doesn't usually eat breakfast with us and never eats pancakes, even though there is always one extra waiting for him. The girls gave him the birdhouses they painted and then set them outside. After church we had lunch together at a nice little sandwich shop and then went down town and wandered around with all the tourists for a while.

It is a great day as a parent/wife to celebrate with a man who is a great father to our daughters. But it is a not so exciting day as a daughter to a dad who, unfortunately, hasn't been a part of my life. It's harder now as a parent when I watch Paul. I get a first hand view of what I missed out on.

The last few days on the morning news they have been talking about great Father's. They interviewed people on the street and asked them to describe their dads. They said things like "caring, dependable, someone I could look up to and model my life after." I recognize and praise men like that, my husband and father-in-law being those kind of men. I also know that there is another reality that many people live in that is not the kind of stuff the morning news wants to feature. There are the dads that have never been part of their children's lives, ones that have left their children with more questions than answers. There are dad's who don't go to their daughter's weddings, hang up the phone if their son's call and even some who have ended their lives leaving their kids with hurt and doubt.

So, this post is also for the many people that do not have dads or who don't know their dads. It is also for those who have lost their fathers. I just want to say that it's ok to feel sad and it's ok to not know how to feel. It's ok if our story is not the same as on tv or if our dad didn't make the morning news. Life is messy.

All that said, I don't want to remain in that place of sadness. I don't like anger, though it tries to get a hold of me sometimes. I am going to go ahead and send a card to my dad that I don't know and expect nothing in return. I think Jesus can speak to me even on Father's day. I am called to give to those who have hurt me and love my enemies.

I'm thankful for all that leads me to God even if it is sadness. I know that God loves all Creation, and that the fatherless have a special place in His heart.

Ariel Misquoted

My girls like the Little Mermaid. I honestly don’t like her. She’s self-centered, unhappy, and weak (waiting for the prince to rescue her). I think she is a poor role-model for my daughters. On a good day I know that “this too shall pass.” But, on other days my controlling personality traits take over and I hide anything princess: books, movies, dolls, music.


Maddi knows the songs of the Little Mermaid very well. She likes the one that is sung in Ariel’s hidden cavern where she keeps all her human things. You know the one, “Look at this stuff, isn’t it neat, wouldn’t you think my collections complete, wouldn’t you think I’m a girl, a girl who has everything….but who cares, no big deal, I want more.”


Well, Olivia, repeats everything Maddi says and has started singing as much as Maddi. Olivia has created her own version of the song and simply sings “Isn’t it neat I’m a girl who has everything.”


I know the time will come when she’ll correct herself and sing the song the “right” way, but I smile when I hear her version and think it is right. It is right to be content and full, to be able to rest and not always be wanting for more. What a great lesson for me to learn; isn’t it neat I’m a girl who has everything!